


Early Bird

by SafetyHazard (ineedapilot)



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Anal Play, Dildos, M/M, Masturbation, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:40:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29070450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineedapilot/pseuds/SafetyHazard
Summary: Nandor wakes up early one night and hears a suspicious sound. What could it be?
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Comments: 11
Kudos: 41





	Early Bird

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HeartlessMemo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartlessMemo/gifts).



> A fun collab with HeartlessMemo - we each took the prompt of "Nandor watching Guillermo fuck himself with a big floor-mounted dildo" and wrote our own take! Read HeartlessMemo's companion piece [Let Me See You Come Undone](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29070381) too!

The house is silent when Nandor opens his eyes to the comfortable darkness of his coffin. He yawns, stretching his jaw wide and rolling his shoulders, before dropping back onto the cushions.

He's awoken somewhat early tonight, but he supposes it won't hurt to call for Guillermo to help him arise. It's not like his familiar will be doing anything of importance besides preparing to assist his master.

"Guillermo!"

No answer. How impertinent of Guillermo not to be ready for his early rising.

After several impatient moments, Nandor shoves half-heartedly at the lid, expecting it to stick as it usually does. Tonight, however, it dislodges without issue. Pushing it open fully, Nandor slowly sits up. The house hasn't been this quiet for months, since the documentary crew had first arrived. Honestly, he had missed a peaceful awakening, unperturbed by tromping human feet and the constant, low buzz of the electronics in his ears.

Nandor opens his mouth to call for Guillermo again when he hears something - a wet noise that reminds him of sinking his fangs into an especially juicy victim, and an accompanying creak of the floorboards.

Straining his ears, he detects a heartbeat above him. The second-floor bathroom. He's not dressed for the night, thanks to Guillermo's neglectful behavior, but at least the cameras aren't around to record his disheveled state.

He ascends the stairs and raps on the bathroom door. No answer. He tries the knob, but it's locked. Surprising - he didn't know the bathroom even had a lock. He places his ear against the door, and several sounds resonate through the worn wood. Panting breaths and a pounding heartbeat. A faint, tinny moan, and again that soft squelching and creaking.

It would be easy to break down the door and catch Guillermo in the midst of whatever lewd act of self-pleasuring he's undertaking when he should be brushing the knots from Nandor's hair, but now, Nandor is curious. Quietly, but with vampiric speed, he transports outside. It's indeed early, the dying remnants of twilight just buried beyond the horizon. Rounding the corner of the house, Nandor sees dim light peeking out from the bathroom's drawn curtains.

The wind is rustling the shrubbery, but Nandor's enhanced hearing hones in on the noises he'd heard at the bathroom door while he floats up to the window. It's no effort at all to nudge the curtain aside from the other side of the glass, and Nandor peers through the aperture he's created.

The first thing he notices, perhaps strangely, is the patina of sweat on Guillermo's shoulder. The lamplight plays along its broad, golden surface as fat and muscle shift and flex underneath. Guillermo's arm is braced on the edge of the tub, adding leverage and direction to the pistoning of his powerful legs where he squats.

Tree-trunk thick but velvety soft, Guillermo's thighs likewise flex forcefully with each bounce as he drives his voluptuous ass rhythmically onto the massive dildo affixed to the floor. Nandor can see the girth of the object emerge with each upward surge of Guillermo's body, only to be resheathed on his next downward plunge. It certainly accounts for the squelching and creaking he first heard from downstairs.

Something glints, and Nandor's eyes flick over to spot a bead of precum dripping to the floor. Tracing the gossamer thread to its origin, Nandor's gaze fixes onto Guillermo's cock, bobbing stiffly above his tightly drawn sack. A pulsing vein winds along its short, portly length, from its base in the wiry-haired cushion of his pubic pad to its flared head. It sways hypnotically with Guillermo's bouncing, occasionally tapping the underside of his pendulous belly at its zenith and adding to the shiny spatter of precum there.

Belatedly, Nandor realizes that he can only see Guillermo's cock because he is facing the window, and he quickly glances up, half-expecting to find an expression of wide-eyed shock on his familiar's face. Instead, he sees that Guillermo is holding his intelligent phone in front of himself in one clawed hand, staring at it with blank, open-mouthed attention. The screen's light paints his ruddy face in a pale glow, and shadows shift in the reflection on his glasses.

A wire runs up to the headphones covering Guillermo's ears, from which issue more tinny moans. Nandor grimaces: no wonder Guillermo had not responded to his summons. His focus is drawn by a pink flash when Guillermo's tongue darts out, wetting his lips. The shine it leaves behind complements the gleaming trails on his forehead and chubby cheeks where droplets of sweat have beaded and trickled down.

Nandor has always known how attractive Guillermo is - who could avoid taking notice of his plush curves and invitingly ample buttocks, his beautiful brown eyes and stout, deft fingers? He doesn't intend to waste this opportunity to admire his familiar's gorgeous physique, especially in the midst of such an erotic endeavor. Satisfied that Guillermo is not aware of his presence, Nandor allows his gaze to roam across his body, put unknowingly on display for his master.

He drags his eyes down from Guillermo's oblivious face, pausing to take in his sturdy neck before settling on his torso. Guillermo's smooth, luscious breasts quiver and shake with each epoch of his rhythm, their movements enhanced by the cadence of the panting breaths that emanate from his surging chest. Nandor reflexively touches his tongue to the tip of a fang, savoring the artful way that the ovals of Guillermo's large, dusky nipples parallel the soft creases under his breasts.

Those folds frame the top of his delectable belly, its generous expanse shivering temptingly as Guillermo fucks himself relentlessly on the dildo. The lamplight lends a warm glow to the sheen of sweat on his skin, accentuating each undulation of the delicious flesh and fat on his gut. The underside of his belly rests partially on the planes of his thick thighs, powering his thrusts with their pumping, and curves out to hang over his swaying erection.

Nandor's eyes land once again on Guillermo's exquisite cock, its short length arcing slightly upward and straining with his arousal, tip adorned by a newly swelling pearl of precum. Just as Nandor bares his fangs lustfully, he's interrupted by a sudden movement.

Not pausing his bucking, Guillermo drops his phone on the floor next to his foot with a clatter and snatches a tattered washcloth from where it hangs on the edge of the bathtub. Stuffing it in his mouth, he runs his hand along the crevice between his thigh and belly and grips his cock in a tight, pudgy fist. He squeezes along his length, forcing a dribble of precum out over his fingers that he spreads down his shaft.

Guillermo quickly accelerates his hand until he's jerking his cock frantically in concert with his fucking, other arm still braced on the tub, downturned eyes fixed on the jut of his jiggling belly and jaw clenched around the cloth. Nandor lets out a lascivious hiss as Guillermo's cheeks redden further from his exertion.

Finally, Guillermo tenses and judders. His eyes roll back, his brow furrows, and he drops his full weight heavily onto the dildo one last time as his orgasm hits, sobbing out a gutteral groan around the washcloth that sounds suspiciously like, "Nnndrrr!" His cock sprays out globs of cum that splatter on the rough stone tile, reaching nearly to the window where Nandor is watching, and he whimpers weakly with each pulse and aftershock that rips through his body.

Nandor waits for Guillermo to recover from his orgasm, watching his bent-over, heaving form, still impaled on the dildo. He palms his own erection, blazing hard against his sleeping trousers, and considers whether it would be worth it to act on his attraction to his familiar, now that he's observed how beautifully wanton he can be in the right circumstances.

Before Nandor can make a decision, though, Guillermo sits up, reaching for his phone. He removes the cloth from his mouth and turns off whatever pornography he was viewing, making his headphones go silent, then presses another button and stiffens, eyes widening when he sees the time. His heartbeat, just settling down, begins to race again. He starts to raise his head to look toward the window, and Nandor drops hastily out of view, letting the curtain fall silently back into place.

Nandor lands on the lawn, and a moment later, the bathroom curtains twitch open and he sees Guillermo's face appear as he looks out at the sky with concern. _That's right,_ Nandor thinks to himself, _you are late, Guillermo._

He takes his time returning to his crypt, listening to the distant sounds of Guillermo hurriedly cleaning up after himself - the pop of the suction cup as he unmounts the dildo, quiet rustles as he presumably wipes himself and the bathroom down and dresses, the occasional bang and muffled curse as he stumbles into something.

Settling himself back in his coffin, Nandor has just closed the lid when he hears footsteps dash down the hallway, and Guillermo knocks at his door. "Master?"

"Enter," Nandor replies imperiously in the darkness. When Guillermo lifts the lid of his coffin, Nandor can't help himself. He gives his familiar a hard stare. "You are looking a little flushed this evening, Guillermo."

In truth, Guillermo does not look so different from usual. But at Nandor's words, he blushes, delicate lips parting as he stammers. "I...uh, I don't know..."

It's enough for Nandor. He waves his hand dismissively, looking away. "Well, I suppose it cannot be helped if you are running around like a chicken with its head cut off, like always. Now help me arise for tonight, Guillermo," he says, offering his hand.

Guillermo lets out a shaky sigh and takes it. "Yes, Master."


End file.
